Happiness might not come easy to you. It never does. But what comes is hope, realisation and understanding. Hope as light, realisation of your worth, understanding of life.
There’s no void inside you that needs to be filled. You’re complete and whole. Your soul is a beautiful place. Your touch makes lifeless flowers come back to life and your footsteps leave impacts that grow roots of love.
And until it occurs to you that happiness is something not external, but resides inside you, within you and in between those cracks that you’ve developed over time and are ashamed of because you think they are flaws but are actually something that make you beautiful, you can create a home for yourself where you can be sad, comfortable, anxious, ugly and all the other things you think you aren’t allowed to be. Because if that’s what makes you realise your worth, then that is what is necessary.
And most importantly, in that home, you can live. In that home you can live without the fear of your soul being crushed by the cuts on your wrists or the fear of your lungs being choked by your favourite scarf. Because there, these cuts won’t bleed and the scarf won’t choke.